I live on the East Coast and my mother was cared for in a nursing home on the West Coast.  I run a small business and do not have the ability to travel, so visiting Mom was not an option for the nearly 8 years that she was unable to live independently.   I had called Mom nearly every day for 15 years, but toward the end of her life, she lost the ability to communicate easily.  Leaving the nursing home involved a major effort to negotiate architectural barriers with her wheelchair and eating became more of a challenge.

Sue provided regular visits and picnic lunches for Mom for the last year and a half of her life.  When weather permitted, these visits included a stroll through the gardens at the nursing home.  Sue also provided some additional interaction for Mom and would report back to our far flung family as to Mom’s current status.    The picnic lunches featured foods that were not available in the nursing home and things that Mom loved.   Mom had been declining noticeably prior to Sue’s involvement.  After Sue got involved, Mom improved a little, and the nursing staff commented several times to me what a good idea it was to have Sue visit.

Every week, Sue would write a short note about Mom’s current status and report on how they would interact.  The notes were a welcome addition to my calls and involvement with the staff in the nursing home care conferences.  It allowed me to read about a different perspective on Mom’s day to day functioning.  It also gave me more information to talk to Mom about, since our conversations became more and more one sided.  I knew that even if Mom could not communicate she still understood what was happening around her.  Every once in a while, she was able to ask a question or make a comment that was intelligible.

We are thankful for Sue’s willingness to participate in Mom’s care.  It was invaluable to all of us.